so it has come to this.

VS.

The first sign was the nightmare.

In the early hours of Sunday morning a horrible dream woke me, leaving me breathless and reaching for the dog. It did not involve lycanthropes and airborne switchblades, not your typical fare. No rabid dogs or tidal waves or legs that wont work while the rapist creeps closer. Rather, I dreamt my dog was angry at me due to the fact that I'd forgotten to bench LaDanian Thomlinson, a Chargers Running Back, who was injured. Wha...?

It was a nightmare about fantasy football.

What makes this stranger is that Thomlinson is not even on my team. Stranger still, my dog doesn't understand the concept.

Fantasy football has taken over my inner life. And perhaps my outer life. This morning, as I walked to the train, I pulled out my blackberry and checked last nights scores. YES! My team, The BROOKLYN PINK DRESSES beat James Coker and his damn team called THE 1991 DENVER BRONCOS. I was happy! So happy! Then I looked up and I saw a homeless looking man muttering to himself. Behind him, he dragged a granny cart filled with empty bottles. An epiphany hit me. I'm not that guy. I am not a homeless guy. But who I am, is this girl who doesn't know anything about football, all of the sudden obsessed with fantasy football. And why? I don't know. The homeless guy probably had a better sense of himself and his purpose in that moment. He was spiritually intact. But me? I'm empty, clinging to tight end, Jeremy Shockey's performance and Chad Pennington's injury report. I am a husk.

So it has come to this.

30 Rock

So today. Nothing really happened on the way to work. BUT once I got to work...shit storm. Cannot elucidate, but trust all is fine and Season 4 is going to be BEYOND.

average morning, walking to the g train.

There are New York mornings when you can traverse miles and miles, on foot and by train, and not talk to a single person. Surrounded by the multitudes equally unimpressed by the brand new day, you just blend in and play background. Its ok, because you haven't had your morning coffee yet and to have to speak would probably pull a muscle. This morning however several people spoke to me, no matter that they were conversations so mundane that when I list them here you'll be angry you read this far.

Not 3 feet from my door a Park Slope Mom was getting ready to take her child to school. She was asking her what she would like to eat...cheese stick? Graham crackers? An apple? The child who did not like her choices and was probably waiting for her perfect size 4 mom to offer up a marshmallow, did not reply. I wanted to scream at her: don't give the child a choice! TELL her, here's your apple. Eat it. Anyway, that was only somewhat of a digression because no one spoke to me, but it does illustrate why my "ire" level had been raised.

Soon enough though, I would be disarmed by the kindness of strangers. Shortly after that exchange, I stopped into my local bakery and got myself a morning coffee. As I reached over another costumer to get milk then the simple syrup I simmered with a silent rage...the other customer was quietly measuring out her splenda packet into her coffee. Exactly half a pack. As I attempted to roll my eyes to myself, without prompting, she handed me a lid and a straw. Exactly what I needed to get on my way and start my day. Such a nice thing to do. We exchanged a few nicey nices and I was on my way. A block from the cafe, a couple stopped me and handed me my jacket that I hadn't noticed i had dropped a few feet away. Thanks, I said. They both smiled, your welcome. Small, yes, but I felt like something had shifted in the universe. 3 pleasant people in a row.

random picture of my mom walking down Park Place, towards 5th Avenue

Now it was my turn, a man looking bewildered on the corner of where about 8 streets converege. Flatbush, Atlantic, Dean, Pacific, 5th Ave, who knows what else. Which way is 4th he asked and I answered, helpfully. It had all come full circle. New York had made me mad then softened me up, and then I gave my share of goodness. All this before I even got on the subway. On the way to work I pondered all this and smiled quietly to myself. I am a part of all this. And that guys would be lost with out me and that jacket would be lost with out that couple and that coffee would have spilled had that lady not though for me in the blue sky bakery.

I'm pretty sure that mom was useless though. Also fairly certain that the kid is gonna grow up to be a dick.

its been a while...

but I'm back.

HI.

MISTER MAN!

Mister Man is in a contest. Here is the link...vote for him...ok?

Kristen and Jen look like they walk well, don't you think? 
 
So Obama is president. Thats good. Nothing especially dramatic to report. Just thought I'd write seeing that my last post was sometime in December. Well, Christmas has come and gone, January has slipped into February and the brutal chill of yesterday is relenting into a pre pre pre spring tease of sorts. I never thought I would say that i was excited for a 50 degree day, but yes, I am. Of course I am talking about the weather. This is what friends talk about when they haven't seen eachother for a while. The weather. I learned all this when I lived and loved in England. So hey blog, how about that weather?

ok

bye