although its been said many times, many ways....

Its Thursday! One day away from Friday! Two days away from Saturday! And you KNOW what that means! Saturday is the day that KP and I trim the christmas tree and Mr. Man hosts his 4th annual Holiday party. I will make some hot toddys and KP will make some egg nog...the house will be filled with Christmas cheer and the TV will glow brightly, this because I bought a DVD of a yuletide log burning in a festive fireplace. Its that time of the year again, where you listen to Jerry Vale and Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole sing the classics and you eat candy canes to dramatic excess. Its thanksgiving all over again but this time with less gourds and more presents, not to mention more snowflake sweaters. God, I love snowflake sweaters. There was a time in my life when I wore them exclusively. that worked when I lived in Switzerland, in fact was de riguer...it worked less when I moved back to LA. 

FUCK DAMMIT. 

As I was writing this all lost in the reverie of christmas pasts, I was called into the boss's office to organize the secret motherfucking santa. DAMMIT. 

UGH. 

ok. 

bye.

some sad news, followed by some non news

Marg Helgenberger and her husband of a lot of years have decided to get a divorce. So sad. Her husband, Alan Rosenberg, is the president of SAG. Hopefully this does not mean he's going to be more annoyed in general and more inclined to strike. That would put me out of a job. 

In other news, Marg has my ENTIRE name in her last name. 

Last night, as I walked to Tiffany's house my knee gave out, I limped most of the mile there. KP generously offered to give me a piggyback ride, I instead trudged on and meditated on the piercing pain. 

So this is what it is to get old. 

This is what it is to have your body fail you. 

What next? My elbows? My hands? My mind!?

I was pretty near despondent upon my arrival, rain soaked and an invalid. Luckily for me Tiff was quick with the Truffle Tremor goat cheese and lump crab meat salad.  Not to be outdone, KP went all out and got some Ritz crackers and Ferrer Rocher chocolate. I was already full when the main course of Oprah burgers and Cauliflower mash arrived, but I was back to normal. Ibuprofren had restored my ability to walk unaided and  the fine company restored my good humor and come-what-may attitude.  

Later that night, KP and I watched Britney: For the Record. Towards the end the wise pop princess, all softly lit and wistful said "I gotta stay positive everyday....life can be so cruel" As I rubbed my slightly sore knee I thought to myself..."So true Britney, so true."

apocalyptic sitch...

So basically, the apocalypse is nigh. I mean, when things that are THIS cute happen. Well, it can only spell disaster for the rest of us. I was once in Telluride, CO walking around the small town's main street during a busy summer day. I saw that a crowd had gathered around something and, being naturally curious, I found myself drawn. Mine eyes have seen the glory or some such, I thought, when they beheld the sight...A mouse, sitting on cat, sitting on a dog, like some sort of food chain chart, come to life. Somehow they had learned to turn against their nature and love one another. Uh-oh, I thought. This isn't good. And these baby white tigers with these sweet lil monkeys. Bad bad BAD! But aren't they cute to look at? This is parcel to my end-of-the- world theory...ie it will not be gnashing of teeth and a collective wailing of humanity in lakes of fire, but unicorns prancing and pegasus's a flying against a backdrop a brilliant shade of glitter...the sea will turn into a sea world like extravaganza and then POOF. The end.  

oh.my.god.

New York Moment

I just had a new york moment. Here it is, in a nutshell:   I saw about 6 mice running around in the cafe downstairs. I was very grossed out. I walked out of the cafe and I nearly walked right into Blake Lively, also known as Serena Van Der Woodsen of Gossip Girl fame. So like the grossest moment followed very closely by the most sublime moment. This is a very trying town. 

you know you love it

xoxo

HAMIBAL, english hamster, gone forever

It has come to my attention that Hami, also known as Hamibal is dead. I'd like to share some of my favorite moments with him here.

One day, I came home, back in the Gay Goo household days, and Hami was there. In his cage hanging out. Not doing much because he didn't have a wheel on which to run. This, I was assured, was due to the fact that Hami was not an exerciser, per se. He was nice enough, but if handled too much, he was prone to nibbling on you. So I tried to ignore him because such a cuddly thing that you can't cuddle drives me nuts. Anyhow, nothing changed in his cage. I mean sometimes he'd be on his mezzanine and other times he'd be on the ground floor of his lil hamster apartment, but nothing really changed until one day...I came home and there was Hami with his little buck teeth standing on his hind "legs" right next to a giant phallus. It was the size of 3 Hamis, if you stood one top of the other.   It didn't bother him none. Just a giant cock in his hamster cage. Just like normal as far as Hami was concerned. One of the lady lesbians that I lived with had placed it in the cage and yes, juvenile as it may seem, it amused us for the rest of the week that we had him...until Chloe came back from whereever she was...China I think....and saved her poor little guy.

Oh Hami. R.I.P.  

Present?

JenDM & Hami whoop it up!

its like a parrot, but different. 

And here you see me with my cuddly thing. He only bites sometimes and its only asians and children that get that treatment. He's the ONLY cuddly racist/age-ist thing that I like by the way.  

Remember that This American Life where that woman was all..."wait, are unicorns endangered or extinct?" We all had a good laugh at her expense didn't we? Well, turns out the jokes on us. Unicorns are for realz. 

Oh and of course if we are talking unicorns then its only logical that you go here.

Today at the office

Today, my boss came to chat with me at my desk. Here is a screen grab of what was up on my computer. To my shame...google images of Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

When I admitted this to my colleague, and fellow Los Angeleno, (who shall remain nameless so as to remain ungoogle-able but see secret picture), he said "I've had a few cocktails with him." And off of my stunned face he says "He's from Pasadena. So what. Big Deal." Can I just say: Quote.Of.The.Day.

Oh and here is the view from Silvercup...

Its the ol' sun setting over Manhattan, right now as I blog. 

G'night!

the world at large.

For the record, I'd just like to say that I don't think Sarah Palin looks like Tina Fey. She's more Lorraine Bracco. Needless to say, I don't think America is ready for an Alaskan vice-president. Here are some wonderful pictures of the potential prez-in-waiting. 

I like the deadliest catch on her desk, its a nice touch. She must have the taxidermist on speed dial..

                         

In this one over here, she is showing off a dead elk or moose or whatever wild thing she just killed. One thing is for certain, she loves dead animals. Nothing wrong with that, right?

In other news, this is pretty important: Kip Baldwin

Oh and in other former boss news, someone owes Laurel a dollar. See why here. 

This is in Williamsburg. If you look close you can see hipsters getting sunburns. Enjoy!

TIFFERSNAX

This was in the midst of THE GREAT COTTON CANDY FIASCO...

read more about Tiffy here. 

To understand her and her life read here.

If you run out of things to talk about with her, try this topic. 

Do you know this girl?

Bet you wish you do. 

30 Rock

The real 30 Rock, a hallway of SNL hosts past. 

i want to go to there.

some haikus to end the day.

Politics poolside. 

Lon-gisland labor day swim.

I keep floating left.

Pine Mountain h'or doeurves,

chilled west coast white wine spritzers

careful, hungry hawks.

My Favorite Monarch

Bare Breasted Virgins

Tiff does not HEART Sarah Palin

She hates polar bears, so Tiff hates her. Here is a video that Tiff made at the Bronx Zoo this weekend. Please support the bears, not the republicans. Thank you. 

Cute little red panda...and cute little josep. These photos seem to go together. Not sure why. 

Dawgs.

This one has videos!

When Jen was here, we went on  her tour of the LES and this was one stop, Tomkins Square Park.